Worlds Apart

‘S up people, my name’s Carey Grayson (Booman) to those that know me and I am what’s called state raised.

Not too long ago a cat in the free world (that’s where you live) asked me a question that got me thinkin. I made a comment on a news article and he pauses for a sec and says “Why do you say that?” Cause of the way he asked the question I clocked it as important to him immediately. Not what I would call a profound question, I thought. Profound to him though, which got me wondering, why it was profound to him. Hmmmm… I think, what the hell did I say? Questions buggin me now, specially since he seems to be waitin on an answer.

More I thought about it, more confused I got. Nothing I had said was outta character, so it had to be the answer itself. Now im getting a lil pissy cause I’m feelin stupid for not figuring out what’s so important about this damn comment. Finally I just asked, what he was talkin about. …. arkward pause …. Then he launches into a stuttered apology about how it’s not important and tries to change the subject. I’m sittin here lost as a mofo wonderin what the hell just happened. Now you gotta understand, I’ve known this cat for years. And this was some new shit.

As I’m sittin here listening to the new topic wondering what the last was about, the runner comes to my cell and knowing I’m talking to someone interrupts my conversation with some nonsense. So I proceed to check him on his rude behavior and apologize to my homie for rude ass inmates and it hits me!! Ding ding ding!!! You dumb bastard THIS is why the question was so important to him! They don’t do this where he’s from. Someone’s rude in his world he lives. Don’t like the food? Don’t eat it. Don’t like his neighbor, he moves, Somebody owes him and won’t pay? He takes em to court. That shit don’t happen in my world. Someone’s rude, you check’em. Don’t like the food? Tough shit, buy better if you can. Don’t like your neighbor? Go in his jaw. Somebody owes you and won’t pay? Better sharpin something and take it to the informatory, so the next man knows better.

In a flash I realized we don’t live by the same rules. Not even close. People don’t forget here. They just wait for a better opportunity.

In another flash, it hits me that, these were the only rules I knew. Only world I knew. I was raised here, literally. Everyone I knew on the street was on welfare, parole, probation ore some form of happy time. Not to say they were bad people, just poor. Well, some were dicks, but most were just people. Came here at 18 and everyone I met was a criminal. I grew up around a bunch of killers. Again, most not bad people. But you gotta watch ‘em all, all the time. 10 or more people have been stabbed, cut or other this year alone.

Upon reflection it’s possible to see how life in general has maybe affected my thought process a bit. I don’t really see the world the way someone in the free world does. Or maybe I don’t see the same world. Either way I’m a lil mystified by y’all for the most part. And, it seems to be mutual. I promise I’m not some rabid dog person. As a product of my environment I just don’t see things the same way at times. Being state raised, I don’t always remember that y’all don’t see things the same way as the people I’m around every day.

Now that I’ve put some thought to it, I do wish I could see the world like my homie on the street. But to be honest, I just don’t have the context to support it. All I’ve ever known is a hard life. It’s made me what I am and frankly I didn’t turn out all that bad. Aside from the cap. Case and all that.

Anyway the moral of the story is if your pen pal or family member says something that sets you on your heels a sec. keep in mind that, this place is hard to turn off, and we sometimes forget how different our worlds really are.

Carey Grayson
Ex. Coor PHADP
H-11A Z-598